Parental Denial - A Real Danger

In an episode of Oprah this past week, the Friday Panel discussed a difficult parenting issue that Michelle from Atlanta, Georgia needed advice on. Her 12 year old son received numerous text messages form a 12 year old girl offering him oral sex. Michelle did not know whether or not she should contact the mother. The panel rightly advised her to definitely let the girl’s mother know that her daughter was contemplating engaging in risky behavior. I know that I would want to know!

On a follow up interview, Michelle told the panel that the mother was instantly defensive. She told Michelle that her daughter would never do such a thing and that she did not know ANYTHING about sex let alone oral sex. This mom then went on to attack Michelle saying that it was her son’s fault. This was my experience when we reported bullying at school. My daughter also ended up being re-victimized by a parent and principal in denial.

Clearly, we parents are not capable of believing that our children could do bad things. This mother is way out of touch. By the age of 12, some 10% of children are already engaging in sexual relations. I know that my 11 and 12 year old girls are hearing and seeing things that I would never approve of at their middle school. I am often shocked and mortified by some of the things they are being exposed to on a daily basis at school in this sex crazed society. Children are eager to grow up over night and they think that having sex is the ticket. The bottom line is PARENTAL DENIAL is a very dangerous thing for our children and their future.

Who's Controlling Your Kid?

As I observe the various cliques of boys and girls around my children's school, it is clear to me that the cliques are controlled by one child. It may appear that 2 children are in control, but if you take a closer look, it really is one. One child controls the masses. From that lofty position, often that child rules the school. The supreme rulers dictate to the group. The minions then carry out their orders which usually have to do with spreading rumors around the school to humiliate the rulers' targets to either eliminate them as competition or, having already alienated the targets, to keep the targets in their place.

We parents need to ask our children who is in control of their group? Who calls the shots? Are you pleased with the answer? Is it your child? Next, you need to find out how your child is treated in the group? How is your child used by the group? Is your child the one in control of the group? That adds a different dimension to your follow up, in my opinion. Is the group inclusive? Does the leader have a particular DISLIKE for someone in the group? Is their discord within the group?

Our children have free rein at school. No one in overseeing them in the hallways and playgrounds. No one is calling them out on their bad behavior. The rulers of the school are calling all the shots and the targets and other children say nothing not out of loyalty, but out of FEAR.

Bully Politicians

What is going on in this country? It is shameful the way our presidential candidates are intentionally humiliating each other! Their nothing more than middle aged Bullies!!!!! My children are of the age that they can watch the debates and learn a good lesson in BULLYING??? No thank you! The popularity of the candidates takes a dive every time they make a negative comment toward the other! They know this! So, why do they continue to bully each other????? I am appalled by the behavior of our leaders. They can and should be above it all. They set a bad example for younger generations.

Cyber Predator Alert

Half of all children from age 8 to 12 now carry cell phones. For this reason, it has become the perfect tool for child predators. Predators are using text messaging to lure children. Children’s social lives revolve around their cell phones. Children can come across these predators in various chat rooms and random text messaging. The predators make contact with them telling them they are cute and they like them. Predators lie about their age and text message with minors for days gaining their confidence. Then they manipulate the children to sneak away from home to meet. Often, the predator is waiting outside in a car.

Radar My Mobile Watch Dog is a new technology that parents can implement to protect their children from child predators. For $10 per month, parents can monitor text messages, pictures, and phone calls being sent and received from a child’s cell phone. Parents can program an approved list of contacts directly into their child’s phone. When an unapproved call comes in, it goes to the parent’s phone for review.

Don’t Let the Mean Kids Use Your Child

Mean kids use other kids like henchmen carrying out their every order. Unfortunately, the henchman could be your son or daughter. Henchmen perform a variety of duties such as reconnaissance and intel, delivering nasty messages from the mean kids, etc.

Recently, my daughter was sent by a boy she called her friend to break up with his girlfriend of 2 days. He then asked another girl out (that’s what kids call going study now) who he dumped 2 days later. At this rate, he should be through the entire 6th grade by Thanksgiving!

Feeling badly, my daughter couldn’t bring herself to deliver this hurtful blow to the girl. So, Halley approached the girl’s friend who is one of the major bullies that tormented her all of 4th and 5th grade. The next day this boy text messaged my daughter saying that he was no longer her friend. What a coward! And what a punk to treat girls in such a despicable manner!

I was upset that my daughter would let herself be used by this boy to do his dirty work. I fear that it only put her back in harm’s way. Time will tell. It seems like it should be obvious to our children that they should not act as messengers or henchmen for the queen bees and bullies, but they need to be told.

There is no Santa or Easter Bunny

I could not believe my ears this morning when it was reported that a 3rd grade school teacher left her class in tears after she announced that there is no Santa and there is no Easter Bunny. She then went on to espouse upon these 8 year old children her religious beliefs! It is shocking and shameful!

I don't care how new this woman is to teaching, everyone knows that it is NOT a school teacher's duty to let the proverbial cat out of the bag regarding Santa and the Easter Bunny. What's more, religion is kept out of the classroom for a lot of obvious reasons! If children are at Catholic or Jewish or Muslim school, then one knows what will be taught to one's children. In any other setting, a teacher forcing her religious views on her students is unforgivable and she should be fired for doing so.

“You have to teach people how to treat you.”

I was flipping channels again today. Something it took my husband years to teach me. Tyra Banks was interviewing two young men, one of which confessed to doing something despicable to the other. Just then, Tyra said something brilliant. She said to the victim, “You have to teach people how to treat you.”

Apparently, we are not teaching our children how to treat other children in this country. Daily, I am shocked at the behavior I witness at school. My children often describe the most despicable behavior by children at their school. This is why I started this blog.

Tyra is right. You have to teach people how to treat you. I am incorporating this gem into my mommy’s bag of life lessons to teach my children. It is my goal as a parent to make sure that my children are not mistreated. I figure you can lie down and take it and become a bigger target, or you can do something about it.