There's No Way To Be A Perfect Mother...

"There's no way to be a perfect mother, but a million ways to be a great one."  I heard these brilliant words one day while watching one of the morning talk shows.  

What an amazing revelation!  There are so many parents out there with out of control kids who shrug and ask, "What do you want me to do?"  #@()%#$@##!!!  Are you kidding me???!!!  Parent your kids!!!!!  Increasingly, I find myself, while in conversation with parents, having to correct their children's bad behavior because they aren't.  

In fact, those parents completely ignore the bad, and might I add sometimes DANGEROUS, behavior.  One incident happened in my own home.  A mom dropped off my girl scout cookies and her two girls had a continuous kicking fight during our 10 minute conversation right under her nose.  I told her children to knock it off 4 or 5 times and the mom didn't flinch!

If you are one of those moms or dads who want to be your kid's best friend, forget it!  You are their parent, so start parenting.  Lay down the rules and be CONSISTENT!

Oprah Calls For National Debate On School Violence

Recently, a friend emailed me to say that Oprah was going to be doing a show on bullying.  Oprah is automatically recorded on my TIVO, thank Goodness for TIVO!  The show featured the moms of the two eleven year old boys who were sexually harassed at school to the extent that they took their own lives to stop the pain and humiliation.  I don't think there was a dry eye in the house.

Something struck me by the show.  Oprah pointed out that the words that the bullies used to taunt these innocent boys, "gay", "fag", etc. amounted to SEXUAL HARASSMENT.  Wow!  That really gets me even now.  School aged bullies are now "sexually harassing" their victims.  Many of these children don't even realize what they are saying nor do they understand the implication of those words and how the victims carry those labels through their life times.  Or do they?

Bullies bully for power.  They bully to intentionally humiliate their victims.  They are very effective and 99.99% of the time, they get away with it.  So, maybe these children do not realize the long term affects of these sexual slurs, but they know how to use them to cut like a knife.

School Aged Children Sexually Harassing Classmates

I blame movie ratings being shifted down for our school aged children being overexposed to sexual language and innuendo by the PG13 movies their parents allow them to see without supervision, thinking they are okay.

I have watched some PG13 movies with my kids and I am shocked at the loose use of language and constant verbal description on sexual images.  Our children are exposed to adult material right under our noses.  They are picking up language that they really do not understand and they take it to school where they think it is cool to unleash it on their targets.

Words like "gay", "fag", "whore", "dyke", "virgin" are being hurled around primary and middle schools on a daily basis.  Are parents and teachers listening?   When these words are overheard by adults in the school hallways and classroom, are they ignoring it?  Are they calling the kids out on it?  Sometimes these words are shouted out when adults are present to get a reaction. What is our reaction?

We had better start reacting.  These cruel and hurtful labels are destroying innocent young lives, some of whom no longer able to deal with the pain they cause, commit suicide to stop the bullying.  This should not be happening America.

School Administrators Hide Behind

Uniformed Parents Are Ineffective Parents

So, my kids' middle school has a very disturbing trend going on.  My daughter's CORE teacher explained to me via email that in her 7 year history at the school, this has been the most violent year she has ever seen.

I've spoken to some 20 odd moms who I consider "plugged-in parents".  Not one of them knew of the 3 fights at school in just 3 school days.  They were all shocked to learn about them.  Some are angry, like me, that our school does not disclose this information to parents.  What's the big secret?

In my opinion, if we parents are informed of the number of fights and motives, we can work with our children at home.  As far as I am concerned, an uniformed parent in a ineffective parent.

Perseverance Pays Off

I've been completely ignored by the Principal of my kid's middle school.  I asked to meet with her twice and my emails were ignored.  In the past I have been unsuccessful in securing an appointment with her over the phone.  Today, I marched in and kindly asked (even though I was furious) how I could make an appointment.  To my surprise, the school secretary (usually extremely unpleasant) called me over to her desk and gave me an appointment for next week. Score!

I strategically waited to visit the school office until after lunch.  I figured I'd get a lot better reception from the office staff after they'd had lunch and a break.  Some very wise person taught me that little trick many years ago.  I'm pleased to say that today it appears to have worked.:)

Blown Off By The Principal!

Wow!  I sent an email to the principal of my children's middle school to ask what is being done about the recent violence in our school.  I also asked what we parents can do to help.

The Principal's response was as follows:  "Thank you for your email.  The two incidents were dealt with appropriately." 

First of all, there were 3 fights in 2 days and what about my offer to learn directly from her how we parents can help? Is she kidding me???!!!!  I am sooooo naive!!!!!  I keep trying to work with these administrators to make our children safe and they blow me off every time!!!!!!!!!!  What is wrong with our school administrators???????!!!!!!!!!!!!

Teachers Across America Abusing Children

The recent report about teachers abusing students (nearly 19,000 cases in Texas) has thoroughly disgusted me.  Did you hear in the news today about how a teacher SAT on a Child and CRUSHED him to DEATH???!!!!!!  The child is dead and the teacher was never charged with abuse nor homicide!  That teacher is teaching at a high school today.  What the hell is going on around this country?!!!

Apparently, the majority of children who are mistreated (ABUSED!) in this way are special needs students!!  That is even more outrageous!!  These are the very children who need the most specialized care, patience, and tolerance!  How dare any teacher violate ANY CHILD!!!!!!

Kids Glorify Violence

So, as I am waiting for my child to exit the school, the fight broken up by a police officer who appeared out of no where, an 8th grade girls came running passed me in the street yelling through her joyous laughter, "Dimitri just got his ass kicked by Cole!"  The 8th grade boy she was relaying this "awesome" news to replied, "That's sooooo COOL!"

Am I the only one who finds these comments completely disturbing????!!!!!!!  Our schools are saturated with a culture of violence that truly undermines American Society.  We are raising a generation of gangster-praising children who will one day do what?  Will they become abusive parents, spouses, parental abusers, elderly abusers?  What will they become?  What will America become if they are our FUTURE????

Middle School Kids Out Of Control!

I am royally pissed at the outrageous behavior and violence occurring at my children's middle school.  On Monday I walked in to help set up the spring Scholastic Book Fair to see a fight right in front of the Principal's office!  On Tuesday afternoon, I witnessed another fight in the same location right after school.  My daughter informed me that there was a fight earlier in the day at lunch.  And this is not an inner-city school!!!  This is Foothill Middle School in affluent Walnut Creek, California!!!!  What the hell is going on around here!!!!

We're All Afraid of the Bullies

I was out to lunch today, when the mom of a beautiful 16 year old, high school girl said that she put her daughter on the pill to clear up her skin.  My sister was surprised by this, but the mother stated her case that she didn't want her daughter to be made fun of because she had acne.  Don't all teenagers have acne?  This mom went on to say that her daughter would get a nose job as soon as school gets out given that her daughter is extremely self-conscious about her nose.

My 43 year old sister was shocked.  Here she was too afraid to get a boob job and Botox in her forties, and this 16 year old girl is on the pill and having plastic surgery!  Something definitely seems odd here.  Our society ridicules us when we are young and then it ridicules us as we age. Let me grow old gracefully in peace, for God Sake!

Bullies Don't Take Breaks

I had to take a break from blogging for numerous reasons, but bullies never take breaks.  Though I have not blogged about it, I am deeply saddened by the 2 eleven year old boys who were so desperate to stop the bullying that they ended their sweet lives.  

At the time, I am sure they thought their lives were a living hell.  But life to me is a blessing full of love and joy.  One has to stay focused on all that is good and wonderful in one's life.  I know that seems crazy when you are living in hell on earth, but is it really so crazy?

My heart goes out to the moms and family members of these two boys and to those of the thousands of other children who end their lives each year in order to stop the bullying.  Parents and educators have got to wake up and get moving!!!  Let's stop the carnage now!!!!!!